The Key To Being Strong

‘My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness’ (Jesus). Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (Paul). 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

If there’s a single passage of scripture that describes what it’s like to live transparently, this one is it! It has been my theme for almost a year now yet I only stumbled across these verses just recently. Oh, I knew of them before, but during my years of not studying I had forgotten and even when I had read them or heard them at church, I didn’t know what it was like to let it sink in. My heart was too hard for it to land there and be soaked up.

What does this mean to us? Can it really be that our weaknesses and troubles are the key to having Christ’s power?

Living transparently means being honest about your weaknesses. AND IT IS SO VERY HARD TO DO THAT! You are opening yourself up to criticism and admitting to others that you don’t have it all together. It’s hard on our pride and scary.

However, living transparently (sharing weaknesses and difficulties in life) is the avenue through which Christ’s power can be shown!

Paul says that “he delights in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, difficulties.” Delights?!! Can this really be?

You know what I do during all those things? I sulk. I cry. I feel sorry for myself. I wonder why God is allowing this. I pray for it to be over, for it to come to an end. In short, I’m a big baby who acts like a spoiled brat. (Hey wait just a second… did I just admit my “weakness?” 😉 ).

How many times do I stop for a moment during a hard situation and praise Jesus that I am becoming a stronger person? How often do we think about how God’s power can be shown through our difficult situations? How often do we “delight” in our shortcomings and hardships because we know that God has a plan and is being revealed
through us if we choose to allow it?

I don’t know about you, but I sure do want to be more like Paul in this moment! Our lives would be so much more peaceful and content if we learned how to showcase God’s power through our storms.

So the next time you are facing something that is hard, even if it is the hardest thing you’ve ever faced, remember these words in I Corinthians 12:9-10. Let it encourage you that God is using YOU (yes, YOU!) to showcase His power! Trust that He is working things out for the good of us and the glory of God. And know that when you are weak, then you are strong.

Finally, read verse 10 again, out loud. Instead of this being Paul’s words, claim them for your own. And repeat them any time you are going through a difficult situation. I’m certain he won’t mind us borrowing his words! I think he’s a pretty cool guy… 😉

Think On These Things

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8

I was having a rough day. Nothing was going right it seemed and everything I had worked so hard to make progress on was crumbling right before my eyes. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting. My mind was completely on myself and the situation that immediately surrounded me. There was no other perspective besides my own. An altered reality based upon my feelings at the time. I was feeling sorry for myself. I had it so bad! Couldn’t everyone see that?

Have you ever felt like this? Like there’s no one else in the world that has ever been dealt these cards in life? Have you ever just sat down and had an “all-out cry your eyes out pity party?”

I have. More than I’d like to admit.

The other day, my boys and I were in the car and the conversation veered toward them and their feelings about how bad they had it in life. Their parents are divorced. It was not what they wanted and now they have to deal with so much heartache because of it. They are children. It’s a natural reaction and merited feeling. They have not yet figured out how to look on the positive side of things. They don’t realize how much it would help them have a happier life overall.

I’m driving and hypocritically thinking “Can they not see how good they have it? They have two parents who love them and spend time with them. They have now other additions to their family and more people who love them than ever before. God, show me what to say to remind them of what they do have in their life that is good. Show me how to teach them to be grateful.”

God clearly spoke to me that morning. He told me that I could not TELL them anything while I was doing THE SAME EXACT THING. I was the one that needed that lesson.

I’ve had the “poor pitiful me” attitude often since my life took a downward turn through the events that led up to the divorce, the divorce, and post divorce. I’ve spent hours curled up in a ball on my bed crying my eyes out in pain and thinking this is the worst thing ever.

It is good to allow yourself to feel pain and release emotion sometimes. However, to the extent of thinking that this is the worst thing ever and allowing our mind to run wild and free with thoughts of negativity is not what God wants from us.

Completely ignoring the pain and heartache and only focusing on the positive creates a world that is not real. It doesn’t give us the opportunity to analyze our behavior and emotions and begin the heal from what caused the pain.

But in general, God wants us to think on the positives of life. To be grateful and content for the life we do have!

When we shift our thoughts to the things of God and His blessings in our life, we begin to see outside of ourselves. When we focus upward and keep our eyes on Him, we can have hope that we will get through this and come to the other side of it a better person.

We can have confidence that ALL things work together for the good of those who love God (Romans 8:28).

I am convinced that I would not be where I am today without the trials I have gone through in life. It has been bad and I have many times wondered if I can go on another day, but I am on the other side of it and I am more thankful for my Creator than I have ever been. I am more hungry than ever to know God’s heart and to seek Him in my life. I recognize my need for Him in every area and I marvel at His mercy and grace in my life.

I could not have made it to where I am today without Him giving me a chance, over and over again. He has made me new and cleansed my heart and will forever be my God, no matter what life throws at me. How could anyone think “poor pitiful me!” and know that?!!!

I am human and make mistakes and will continue to need a reminder of this. I will fall into the despicable pit of feeling sorry for myself from time to time.

But I must remind myself to think on the things that are true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.

With God in my life, nothing is impossible!

How to Handle Mean Spirited People

“He did not retaliate when he was insulted,

nor threaten revenge when he suffered.

He left his case in the hands of God,

who always judges fairly.” I Peter 2:23

It happened again. There was an opportunity in my life to show immediate grace and I let my anger completely take over me. For a moment, I was shaking mad and everyone around me knew it by my body language. What happened might have not even been intentional but the only thing I thought in that moment was that is was ugly and mean spirited and meant so much more than just the act itself.

I gathered myself fairly quickly and began to will back rational thoughts. As most things these days, I reflected on it later and tried to look at it in a way that I could learn something. While this incident may not have been mean spirited (I really don’t know for sure), it gave me an opportunity to think about how I should handle it when people are ugly to me.

It happens to all of us. Someone says something that hurts us deeply, sometimes completely false in its content. Someone talks about us negatively behind our back and we find out about it, at least some rendition of it. Someone does something towards us that is spiteful and mean.

Truth is, there are mean and ugly people in this world. Truth is, WE can be mean and ugly sometimes. We are ALL human and tend to follow our sin nature. The difference between some people is the conviction felt when we do mess up and the desire to be better people. There are people in this world that do not care that they are mean spirited and chances are, will not see the error in their ways unless they allow God to intervene.

So how do we deal with these people? Both the intentionally ugly people as well as the people who are occasionally and remorsefully ugly (even if we may not know it)?

Jesus offered us a perfect testimony when He lived on this earth as a man. “He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threatened revenge when he suffered.”

He gives us so many verses in the Bible that address this issue. He knows how hard this is for us and He reminds us often of His ways regarding ugly and mean spirited people.

Romans 12:18 says “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

Matthew 5:43-48 says “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

“It’s not about who they are or what they’ve done. It’s about who YOU are.” A local Pastor where I live stated this in a sermon. I immediately wrote it down and have read it often since then.

The way we handle ugly people is not an indicator of how ugly they are, it’s an indicator of what is in our own hearts.

If we spew out venom in response to venom, or act out ugliness in response to ugliness, we are not “standing up for ourselves,” a phrase so many people use to make excuses for their behavior and justify it. What we are really doing is the exact opposite of what Christ lived out as a witness of how we should treat each other. Remember, He did not retaliate nor take revenge!

Think about this: Is us “standing up for yourself” bringing anyone closer to Christ? Isn’t it our mission in life to bring praise and honor to Him? Wouldn’t us handling an ugly situation with grace and peacefulness be the better alternative and a better way to show Christ to others?

I have been given so many opportunities to practice these commandments and have succeeded some and have failed some. I will never be perfect but I pray that I keep getting better. My earnest desire is to shine the light of Jesus through the difficulties of life and my reaction to mean spirited people. Will you join me?

~Keeping it Real

Always Working On Your Marriage Doesn’t Always Work

The other night was amazing. Not because I was able to catch up on some much needed housework. Or because I had time to work on some unfinished projects.

But because my husband Lance and I had an evening to just sit, watch television, read, and study.

It was peaceful and some might consider lazy. But it was needed. With four children, full time jobs, and a small farm, our lives can be very hectic.

We watched a show together, quietly. I had time to have a long Bible Study. He had time to research fly fishing and put together a well thought out plan to catch as many trout as he can using just the right fly’s at just the right size for just the right conditions and time frames based on the life cycle of the fish (I’m learning a little too I suppose!).

We did what we wanted to do. We were together. And we were mostly quiet.

When we went to bed, he said something that made me think. He said “Thank you. For just letting me be quiet and rest.”

That one statement caused me to analyze myself. It has caused much thought about who I am and my actions.

Here’s what I have realized today in reflection.

I am needy. I want our relationship to be great. I don’t want to always pretend that everything’s okay as I have in the past. I realize how important it is to talk about my feelings, to work on our relationship. I understand that great relationships don’t push things and issues under the rug.

So I study about relationships. I read about communication. I read about having a God honoring marriage. I want to do everything RIGHT.

And I’m constantly wanting to talk to him. About his feelings. About my feelings. I want him to see me for who I am and know my heart. I want to know him better than anyone else and at a deeper level than anyone has been able to reach.

And I exhaust him!

Don’t get me wrong, he has NEVER complained. He always does his very best to converse with me and is extremely patient. It wasn’t until last night and that one little comment that I realized,

I AM WEARING HIM OUT with my chatter. Even though the intent and purpose is good and well, it’s too much. I am too impatient in my quest to have a great marriage.

I am realizing that we don’t have to figure everything out right this minute. We have a lifetime to share and work on our marriage.

In the meantime, we must allow ourselves to enjoy the journey.

There is a good balance somewhere between working on a marriage or yourself and just breathing easy and enjoying life. Sometimes working on your marriage is just being quiet and letting each other rest, enjoying life together.

This trait of mine with him and our marriage is also evident in my personal life and relationship with Christ. I have finally come to terms with my past and realize the devastation it has had on my life and me as a person. I want to heal quickly. I want to spend every moment I can working on myself and restoring my relationship with Christ. I am at the point in my life that I am passionate about my walk with Him. It’s been so long and I love it!

But I need to remember that healing takes time. I need to remember that I am on the right path and there is no need to get in a hurry. God is patient with us and He wants us to be patient with ourselves. He also wants us to enjoy life while we’re on the journey of learning more of Him and even ourselves.

I have turned into a high strung woman. And that is not my natural personality. That is not who He created me to be. I want to return to the laid back and low key personality that He blessed me with when I was born.

I don’t want good relationships. I want great ones. With Lance, my children, my friends, and mostly, with God. I must realize that it takes time and I don’t have to get there overnight. I need to relax and enjoy the journey. I need to be confident that I am headed in the right direction and give myself some space to experience a peaceful life in the process.

There is a good balance between working on yourself and your relationships and just relaxing and enjoying what you have in that moment.

And I’m sure Lance would appreciate me finding that balance quickly before he loses his sweet, more patient than I could ever be, mind!

God Whispers “Be Transparent”

I’m struggling today.