She is lonely.
She craves for something more.
She wants to believe in God and trust His plan for her life but her faith is failing her.
“Where are you God? Why am I going through this and why do I continue to feel lonely?
You said you would never leave me nor forsake me, but I don’t know if I believe that. Where are you?!!! And why haven’t you come to my rescue?
I go to work. I come home. I take care of children. I sleep. It’s the same thing every day.
I work hard but I can barely make ends meet financially. I’m struggling to just keep my head above water.
When will the struggle end?
I want to be loved. I want to feel the arms of someone at the end of every day, holding me close. I want to be honored, cherished, and treasured. I want someone to share my life with. If I had that, it would make the rest of life at least bearable.
I see all of my friends happy in love and I want to feel happy for them, but it is hard. I just want to scream “why not me?!” I struggle to hold back the tears when I see their happy “love stricken” posts on Twitter and Facebook.
I’m growing old and bitter. My heart hurts and I don’t see things getting better. When will this pain end?
I know that I’ve messed up in life, but I’m trying now. I’m trying to follow you God and I have been for a long time. How long must I pay for my mistakes? I know you can save me from this misery so why don’t you?
I’m tired of the loneliness and the heartache. Please God, Please! Reach down and change things for me. Help me out here! I. Can’t. Take. This. Much. Longer.”
Have you ever been in these shoes? Have you ever craved for something more?
Have you known someone living in these shoes? Do you wonder what to say to them?
I have felt some of these feelings, but even still, it’s hard to know what to say to this person. You want to share with them that Jesus is all they need, that He is the only one who can satisfy those deepest cravings for love and relationship. Personally, I’m internalizing that more and more every day.
But that is so hard to feel. You know it in your head but it’s tough to take what seems abstract and make it a concrete fact.
I want to tell her that it will all be okay. That God will pull her through this. Because He will.
But sometimes, she only needs me to listen.
To really listen.
To understand that her faith waivers at times and to hold back a “cookie cutter” response to her pain. To not give her all the “answers” or tell her what to do but to show her empathy. Often, she just needs someone to say “I’m so sorry” and validate her feelings.
She needs someone to just help her get through today and remind her that even if we don’t understand why, we can take one step at a time, together.
So take the pressure off of yourself to fix everything for her, even though you want to. Simply be her friend. Sometimes, that’s all she needs.
Is there a friend of yours who needs someone to take the time to think about what it would be like to be in their shoes and empathize with them? I want to encourage you to find one person today that you can reach out to and offer a listening ear. Vow in your heart to try to see things from her perspective, to understand her heart.
Take some time out of your busy schedule and meet her for dinner. Make an effort to text or call to check on her. Send her an encouraging card. Find small ways to show her you care and be intentional about it.
Most importantly, stop talking so much and start listening more.
If you have been in these shoes before, what is it that you would like to see and hear more of from your friends? What can we learn from you today? I would love the opportunity to hear your heart if you would be willing to share.
2 thoughts on “In the Shoes of a Single Mom: Part 1”
You are right! I have been in those shoes, more often than not these days. Sometimes all I need is that one special friend to just listen. To know exactly where I am coming from. To let me talk it out. Sometimes I find the answers I am looking for deep down within myself.Thats when I need to turn to God for guidance to help me see and understand those answers I have found. When I find the answers then I know that I can be that special friend to someone else.
It’s amazing how God works all things out for us and can use our struggles and painful pasts to at some point encourage someone else!