Facing the Pain, Again

Brokenness. It affects us all at some point in our lives, doesn’t it? Whether it’s from things we have done or things others have done to us, we fight against wounds that are present. Sometimes, those wounds lay deep and are scabbed over, almost forgotten, a semblance of progression of healing. Other times, for various reasons, the wounds feel as if they’ve surfaced again, open and gaping.

I have dreams to remind me of my brokenness. Awake, I am constantly seeking my Lord and directing my thoughts toward Him. He is my rock and my salvation and a constant source of comfort. I feel safe in His embrace, whole in His presence. But when my thoughts are bound by sleep, and I lose the ability to consciously run to Him, my dreams can be tormenting. They remind me of the wounds I have from a past filled with hurt. 

Over the last six months, my anxious and fear-ridden dreams returned, after mostly eluding me for years. It has been difficult trying to figure out why they have come back to haunt me. But God has given me the tools to be able to address them, and now that I’m on the other side of them (and finally sleeping in peace again, praise Jesus), I am coming to an understanding of why they have returned. I may feel strong and whole, but there is still an area of my life that needs complete emotional healing. Unresolved pain, not from lack of effort, still has me in its grips. It’s been uncovered again and brought to the surface, and I am facing it only with the strength He gives me. 

In my brokenness, God reminds me that I daily need Him for wholeness. It’s a blessing in disguise, really, because of my human nature to want to present myself as having it all together. The reality is, I don’t, and I desperately need Him. 

So today, after a bout of tears hit me unexpectedly during my time with my heavenly Father, I pleaded with Him to continue healing me and to take away the pain I feel from a lifetime ago – to once and for all heal the wounds that continue to gape open. 

We have a tendency to believe that if we don’t think about our pain, if we order our lives so that we’re not reminded of it, if we put up thick walls so that others can’t get in, then that is healing. That is NOT HEALING. That is burial. And if you bury something that has life left in it (like unresolved pain), it will kick and fight and scratch to come back to the surface. When that happens, it leaves you feeling the same as you once did, discouraged because you think it will always be there. And you have two choices. Bury it again (to surely surface again later) or face the pain and do what is needed for continued healing. 

What pain do you still have from years ago? What healing do you need? I encourage you to stay on your face before God. Realize that we need Him daily. Thank Him for the blessing of His sustaining love. Follow His lead in getting the help you need. Get into counseling. 

Don’t just bury it. Uncover it – and give it to God again.

Our brokenness is actually a blessing! It keeps us in a humble posture before God, so that He can use us to our full potential for His Kingdom. So through it all, thank God for the opportunity to remember how much we daily need Him and carry on doing His most important work. 

Be blessed friends,


When Life Screeches to a Halt

Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations.

I will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 46:10

Sometimes, by no decision of our own, things just slow down for us. Sometimes, life skids to a screeching halt and leaves us wondering what to do. It may be something serious, like a death in the family, or a bad medical diagnosis and everyone all around us is continuing but we feel frozen in time, like the world is spinning out of control. Or it could be that life just physically halts, as in the case of winter weather that keeps us from leaving our house.

As I sit on my couch drinking a cup of hot coffee, my view is of a snow filled ground that has been the cause of me staying at home from work today. I can’t leave my house because my dirt backroad is ice and snow covered. My children are with their dad this week and my husband is out of town on business. So here I sit, alone. Life seems to be standing still.

Of course, when there is time on my hands that I wasn’t expecting, I start thinking. Occasionally, my thoughts take me to negative places I shouldn’t go and I have to get out my bag of coping mechanisms to combat those thoughts. Spending time with Jesus is at the top of that list along with getting up and doing something that takes my mind off of the negativity. Writing often accompanies these moments as well.

Today I turn my attention to Jesus, and my loneliness suddenly disappears. My mind is turned toward Him and He gently urges me to consider others and move outside of myself.

I am reminded to “Be still and know that He is God.” When life halts, we have a unique opportunity to think on the things of God and praise Him for His hand in our life, whether we can see it at the moment or not. Life for me in this moment has come to a screeching halt because of weather but for so many others, life has been turned upside down by situations out of their control.

It’s harder to “Be still and know that He is God”  in moments filled with fear and pain. So as we go through our day, let’s remember those of us whose world have been turned upside down recently and pray for them. Their life as they knew it has halted. They may be struggling to regain composure and deal with a major turn of events. They may be struggling with their faith in God in the midst of an uncontrollable situation.

When life is busy, we must make the time to ‘Be still and know that He is God.”

And when our world comes to a screeching halt because of something so insignificant as the weather and we are tempted to complain about it, let’s make sure we make the time to focus our attention on God, listen to His word in our lives and pray for others.

So today, whether you are stuck at home or not, let’s:

  • Be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10)
  • Be still and know that God is my only source of true joy (Psalm 43:4)
  • Be still and know that God is the true healer (Psalm 103:3)
  • Be still and know that God will heal (Psalm 30:2)
  • Be still and know that God will provide (Philippians 4:19)
  • Be still and thank God for what He is doing (Isaiah 43:19)
  • Be still and thank God for the opportunity to slow down and enjoy His presence (Psalm 16:11)
  • Be still and trust that ALL things are in His hands (Romans 8:28)

Will you join me?

Just Keep Holding On!

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1

I didn’t plan to post this and it isn’t my normal posting time but I am walking on clouds right now and just want to take a few moments and share my excitement with you.

You see, during the last 4 years of my life I’ve experienced the hardest times I’ve ever been through. I have felt so much loss, pain, and heartache, it has been almost unbearable. There were times that I wondered how to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Without going into the past, of which I am not allowing myself to speak at the moment, I wanted to share with you how wonderful God has been to me in the present! I have experienced much change in my life and I have witnessed firsthand the healing power of God through these changes. Burdens have been lifted and I feel lighter than I have in a long time.

I am able to look back at the road I’ve traveled and see how He has brought me through. I’ve seen how He has made my paths straight again. I’ve seen how He has been working on the hearts of my precious children. And I am in awe.

I am in awe of His goodness and grace. I am in awe of His love and mercy. I am in awe that He can take situations that seem hopeless and turn them into stepping stones that take us on a glorious journey.

I’ve talked a lot about my struggles and you may have heard me or read about how I’ve been trudging through them, trying to hold on the best I could to the One who could pull me through. Well, today I want to share HOPE not despair with you. I want you to know that no matter what you’re going through, He is there holding onto you, pulling you through. He is there to take whatever it is you’re going through and turn it into GOOD.

Just keep your eyes on Him. I promise it’s worth it and the other side of this situation you’re in is far greater than anything you could have ever imagined!

There are seasons of life. There are times that will be hard and times that will be easier (Life is never easy huh?). No matter what season of life you’re in, hold onto the promise that God is always there. And even if you’re holding on by a thread, just keep holding on!